Then she revealed what had happened inside my own family. According to the records, Brian had asked staff to limit how often the baby was brought to me because he believed I was too overwhelmed. He said he had been trying to protect me.
Memories rearranged themselves immediately. Every request to see my son had been answered with a suggestion that I sleep. Every doubt about giving him up had been met with another frightening scenario. I had been separated from the one thing that might have helped me decide clearly: time with my child.
Family
The nurse showed that I had repeatedly asked questions, requested contact and expressed concern about his care. My own voice had been present in the record even when I could no longer hear it beneath Brian’s fear. I told him we had not truly made the decision together.
Reconsidering did not make me instantly fearless. I still knew little about Down syndrome and understood that our family might need medical, educational and community support. What changed was my willingness to decide based on the baby in front of me rather than a list of possible challenges.
