Visual Art & Design
Exhaustion made me vulnerable to every warning. Each time I questioned whether giving up our son was truly what I wanted, Brian listed another reason raising him would be too difficult. Hospital staff encouraged me to rest, and the baby was brought to me less often than I expected.
When a nurse finally placed him in my arms, he was not an abstract diagnosis. He was a small person with his own face and movements. Still, I had heard so many predictions about the future that I signed papers while frightened and confused.
I left the hospital with an empty infant carrier. I had imagined taking my newborn home in it. Brian walked behind me as we approached the elevators, but before the doors opened, someone called my name.
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The nurse who had cared for me hurried toward us with paperwork. She asked me to wait because concerns had been raised about how the decision was made. The process was not complete, and I still had time to reconsider.
