My wife, Linda,s. and I had been married for thirty-six years when the doctor finally told us the words we had boths. feared to hear.
The cancer had spread.
There was nothing more they could do.
During Linda’s last week of life, I barely separated from her bed in the hospital.
I would sit next to her, hold her hand and try not to think about what would happen when that hand was no longer there so I could hold it.
One night, Linda suddenly squeezed my fingers tightly.
Her voice was so weak that I had to lean towards her so I could hear her.
Robert, you have to promise me something.
I looked at her.
He already had tears in his eyes.
“Whatever. Just tell me.
Linda remained silent for several seconds.
Then he gave a name that no one had mentioned to me in almost forty years.
“Look for Susan.
For a moment, I thought I had heard wrong.
“Susan?”
Linda nodded.
Find her. When you do, you will understand everything.
His hand began to shake.
Then he added something that caused me a chill.
“And please… forgive me in advance.
I was paralyzed.
Forgive yourself why?
Linda closed her eyes.
Just promise me you’ll find her.
I started asking you questions.
Why Susan?
How did Linda even know about her?
What had he done?
But at that moment, a nurse walked into the room and said Linda needed to rest.
They asked me to come out.
And for the rest of that night, a single name kept going around in my head.
Susan.
It was my first love.
We were both around twenty when we met in college.
Back then, I was convinced that she was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.
We had been together for almost three years.
I even asked her to marry.
But about that same time, I received a job offer in another state.
Susan didn’t want to leave her family or her studies behind.
I could not afford to turn that opportunity away.
We argued .ser ychfar dzb
In the end, Susan told me she couldn’t come with me.
So I left.
And that was the last page of our history.
