But sitting alone after Carol’s funeral, I could remember exactly how it had felt to hold that letter.
For two weeks, I blamed Carol’s request on medication and exhaustion. Then I would hear how carefully she had said Anna’s name, and that explanation would fall apart.
I began contacting people from college.
Most remembered Anna but had lost touch. Finally, someone gave me a number for her old friend Diane.
The moment I introduced myself, her tone hardened.
“I don’t have anything to tell you.”
She ended the call before I could explain.
A week later, she called back.
“I spoke to Anna,” she said. “She said I could give you her number.”
I gripped the phone. “Where is she?”
“Pittsburgh. She moved there years ago to be near her sister.”
Diane paused.
“Whatever you have to say, Walter, be honest with her.”
I didn’t understand the warning until later.
When Anna answered, I recognized her voice beneath the years.
“It’s Walt.”
There was a long silence.
“Yes,” she said at last. “Diane told me you might call.”
I explained about Carol. The illness, the funeral, the request I couldn’t make sense of.
“Could I come see you?” I asked.
For a moment, I thought she would refuse.
Then she said, “Saturday afternoon.”
PART 3: What My Mother Had Done
I drove to Pittsburgh with Carol’s wedding ring in my jacket pocket.
At a rest stop, I took it out and held it in my palm. There was a small worn place on the underside of the band. I had looked at that ring for most of my adult life without noticing it.
I sat outside Anna’s house for nearly an hour.
When she opened the door, I saw the girl I remembered in the way she tilted her head, though her hair was silver now and she wore reading glasses on a cord.
Then she looked directly at me.
Something about her eyes caught me off guard. They felt familiar in a more recent, ordinary way, and I couldn’t work out why.
“Come in, Walter.”
We sat at her kitchen table. She poured coffee, spilling a little into my saucer.
“I’m sorry about Carol,” she said.
“Thank you.”
I waited while she folded a paper towel and wiped the spill.
“Do you know why she sent me here?”
