But honestly.
Josh agreed to take responsibility for specific tasks rather than simply promising that he would “help more.” He would take care of his own clothes, of half the children’s clothes, of shopping twice a month and of picking up children from school twice a week.
Vanessa accepted that she could not continue to take care of everything related to her father without telling anyone when she needed support.
And I made my position clear.
“I love them. I want the kids. If there’s an emergency, ask me for help. If you’re overwhelmed, ask me for help. I might say yes.
She smiled.
“And you might say no.
“Exactly.
The next Saturday, they came again.
Josh was carrying food.
The children rushed into the garden.
Vanessa came into my kitchen empty-handed.
“No clothes?” I asked.
He’s laughing.
There are no clothes.
Then he paused.
I wanted to tell you something.
He again apologized for what he had said about me being in house all day.
“I’ve been angry for months because I felt like everyone thought my time belonged to them. And then I did exactly the same thing with you.
That was the apology I needed.
Not because it was longer.
But because I understood.
I hugged her.
I still help a few times.
Last month, Vanessa called and asked if she could wash a load of children’s clothes because her father had a date and she was overwhelmed.
I said yes.
