Part 4 — The Walk
On the morning of my wedding, I was calmer than I had expected.
At least until Mom brought out Dad’s cufflinks.
She had saved them for Nathan.
The sight of those tiny pieces of metal resting in her palm broke something open inside me.
I cried so hard that my makeup artist quietly stepped outside and gave me several minutes alone.
Nathan got ready with Daniel and the groomsmen.
At one point, Daniel sent me a photograph.
Nathan stood in his suit with his hair combed carefully into place. Dad’s cufflinks gleamed at his wrists.
His expression was so serious that I almost laughed.
Below the photograph Daniel had written:
He has asked me what time it is eleven times.
I typed back:
Tell him I haven’t escaped.
A minute later:
He says good.
Eventually, the moment came.
I waited in the small room near the back of the church.
Then the door opened and Nathan walked in.
He stopped when he saw me.
For several seconds, neither of us spoke.
His eyes moved slowly over my dress.
Then he said, “You look like Mom in her wedding picture.”
Of all the compliments I received that day, that was the one that nearly destroyed me.
I looked at him in Dad’s cufflinks.
“You look like Dad.”
Nathan touched one cufflink gently.
“I know.”
The music began outside.
His entire posture changed.
He straightened his shoulders.
Then he held out his arm.
“Ready?”
I took a shaky breath.
“No.”
Nathan frowned.
“That’s not right.”
I laughed through my tears.
“Okay. I’m ready.”
He nodded approvingly.
“Good.”
The church doors opened.
One hundred and forty guests rose to their feet.
At the end of the aisle, Daniel waited for me.
Mom was already crying in the front pew.
Margaret sat two seats away.
I saw all of them.
Then I stopped seeing anyone except Nathan.
He took his first step.
