If I ever fainted, got hurt, or something serious happened while we were alone, Tyler knew he could use it to call for help.

Apparently, he had developed his own interpretation of “serious.”

“My mom is being really mean,” he announced. “She won’t give me ice cream.”

I closed my eyes.

My child had called the police over dessert.

“I am so sorry,” I told the officer. “I never imagined he would use the phone for something like this.”

Tyler looked offended.

“I’m seven.”

“Thank you for reminding us.”

I expected the officer to laugh.

He didn’t.

His nameplate said BRUCE.

Officer Bruce looked at Tyler, then back at me.

“Would.s. you mind if I ask him a few questions?”

“Please do.”

At that point, I was hoping an actual police officer might succeed where motherhood had failed and explain that chocolate ice cream was not a constitutional right.

Officer Bruce crouched slightly so he was closer to Tyler’s height.

“Did your mom hurt you?”

Tyler immediately stopped acting dramatic.

“No.”

“Are you scared of her?”

“No. She’s my mom.”

“Do you have food in the house?”

Tyler pointed toward the kitchen.

“She’s literally making spaghetti.”

The smell of garlic and tomato sauce had already reached the hallway.

“Does she stop you from eating when you’re hungry?”

“No.”

“Do you feel unsafe here?”

Tyler frowned.

“I already said no.”

Officer Bruce nodded.

“Okay. Then there isn’t an emergency. Tell me what you wanted the police to fix.”

Tyler answered without hesitation.

“The ice cream.”

I wanted the porch to open up and swallow me.

Instead of laughing, Officer Bruce sat on the edge of the step.

“Tyler, when you call the police and tell us you need help, we have to take that seriously.”

“I was serious.”

“I believe you.”

That surprised me.

“But,” Officer Bruce continued, “the police don’t come every time something feels unfair.”

Tyler frowned.

“Police fix unfair things.”

Officer Bruce glanced at me.

I gave a helpless shrug.

“I told him the police help people.”

“Mom said if something bad happens, you call them,” Tyler added.

“That’s true,” Officer Bruce said. “But being disappointed isn’t the same as being unsafe.”

Tyler considered that.

“If your mom says you have to wait until after dinner for ice cream,” Bruce continued, “that might feel unfair.”

“Very unfair.”