“What do I do?”
“You prove it in a language he can’t argue with.”
I ordered the test that afternoon. Diana went back to the house and brought me Aaron’s toothbrush from our bathroom. The cheek swab from my son took ten seconds. Mailing both samples took an hour, because I sat in the parking lot with the envelope in my lap, shaking.
Waiting was the worst part.
“I’ve known him a long time.”
I kept replaying every time Michael had been alone with me. The pool party two summers ago. The cups of coffee at my kitchen table while Aaron worked late.
****
On the fourth day, the doorbell rang.
Michael stood on Diana’s porch holding a stuffed bear.
For a second I remembered him at Aaron’s father’s funeral, standing several feet behind the family while everyone filed past the casket. I’d thought it strange then. Michael had stayed until almost everyone else was gone, staring at the closed lid.
“I can’t talk about it right now.”
When I’d asked if he was all right, he’d only said, “I’ve known him a long time.”
I’d assumed he meant through Aaron.
“Elena, what’s going on? Aaron blocked me. Did I do something?”
I gripped the doorframe.
“He deserves to hear it from Aaron.”
“I can’t talk about it right now.”
His face changed.
“Is it the baby?”
“We’re fine. Just give us time.”
He set the bear on the step and left.
Relief came first.
Diana watched him go. “You didn’t tell him.”
“He deserves to hear it from Aaron. Not me.”
****
A week after I mailed the swab, the results landed in my inbox. I opened the PDF on my phone in Diana’s kitchen. My hands were steadier than I expected.
‘Probability of paternity: 99.99%.’
I read the number again.
I wasn’t going to beg this time.
For one stupid second, relief came first. Then anger swallowed it.
A week ago, I would have called Aaron immediately. I would have cried into the phone, told him we were okay, begged him to come home and put all of this behind us.
My thumb hovered over his name.
Then I remembered him pulling his hand away from mine in the hospital. I remembered begging him to look at me while he walked toward the door.
“I am so, so sorry.”
